My family has always been preoccupied with my weight, but that could be written about in a blog entirely to itself. I just want to talk about recent flushtrations I’ve experienced while on a visit to my hometown to spend some time with family.
My mom and aunt have both asked me about whether or not I’ve lost weight with this new diet. I replied by saying that I didn’t know, because I wasn’t weighing myself. I told them that I wasn’t following a weight loss diet, and wasn’t worried about whether this diet would make me lose weight or not. It’s about my health. Not my weight.
I know there is a problem with the word “diet,” in general, but it offends and hurts me that my family automatically goes back to my weight when talking about my health.
My weight has never affected my health in my 22 years.
My Crohn’s disease has continuously affected my health, in a very detrimental way, for over four years.
Am I alone in this? How can I make them realize the importance of healing my body without making it about my weight in any way?
I was skeptical of this soup, but the longer it cooked the better it smelled!
I can’t wait to try it tomorrow.
Today went really well! 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast, broiled beef patties for lunch and dinner. I have also enjoyed some delicious apple cider for dessert.
I still haven’t found a yogurt maker or any dry curd cottage cheese, but I’m excited to vary the food a little bit tomorrow. 🙂
I’m about 102% sure I have a binge eating disorder.
Sometimes, like tonight, I feel like the only comfort I’m ever going to feel again is the next sip of Dr. Pepper. Or my next double cheeseburger, taco, cookie, philly cheesesteak, etc, etc.
This is also absolutely the biggest hindrance in my journey of wellness.
I’m completely aware of what I’m doing to my body. I know all about what is healthy, what is not, and especially in terms of my Crohn’s. Although, that part is what I’m still constantly learning about.
I’ve had the awe-inspiring epiphany that there is no way my ulcers can heal if I constantly shove food down my throat to rub on them as they make their way out of me.
Logically, I know this.
But, I still can’t seem to stop myself.
Is there anybody else out there that struggles with this too?
I guess this is where I’m going to vomit all of my flushtrations about Crohn’s disease and my journey to wellness.
For over four years now, I’ve been sick. It took me three years to admit that I couldn’t fix it by myself and get help. That’s where the colonoscopy comes in, as well as the diagnosis of Crohn’s disease.
If you don’t know what Crohn’s disease is, and you have a weak tolerance for poop talk, you won’t want to read any further. 🙂
My version of Crohn’s includes unlimited amounts of diarrhea, with the occasional bouts of pain and flatulence. It makes my body, head, and heart hurt. I’m sick of being sick. And I’m done waiting on medicine to fix it for me. I have to step up, do the research, and make uncomfortable changes.
It’s going to be hard.
It’s going to suck.
But, I’ve gotta do it. I’ve gotta start loving myself. I’ve gotta do this for myself.
Who else will?