I Am NOT a Disease

The only time I feel diseased, defective, broken is when society repeatedly pushes me down because of how I look and what numbers show up on a scale when I step on it.  I don’t feel those things unless I am taught to feel them.  Not even when I actually suffer illness or injury.How is simply declaring me as diseased based on statistics, and despite how I feel or the quality of my life, good for my health?How is that good for anyone’s health?

via I Am NOT a Disease.

I Am NOT a Disease

The only time I feel diseased, defective, broken is when society repeatedly pushes me down because of how I look and what numbers show up on a scale when I step on it.  I don’t feel those things unless I am taught to feel them.  Not even when I actually suffer illness or injury.How is simply declaring me as diseased based on statistics, and despite how I feel or the quality of my life, good for my health?How is that good for anyone’s health?

via I Am NOT a Disease.

Women Food and God

I just got out of a bubble bath, and now I’m sitting in my bed reading Women Food and God by Geneen Roth.

I’m four pages in to Part Two, and a lot of things have hit home with me, but I wanted to share this on my blog:

The path from obsession to feelings to presence is not about healing our “wounded children” or feeling every bit of rage or grief we never felt so that we can be successful, thin, and happy. We are not trying to put ourselves together. We are taking who we think we are apart. We feel the feelings not so that we can blame our parents for not saying, “Oh darling,” not so that we can hit pillows and express our anger to everyone we’ve never confronted, but because unmet feelings obscure our ability to know ourselves.

I’ve talked a little bit about my family here, but I’ve never gone into details about my issues with how I was treated in the past around my weight by my mother and certain other family members. To make a long story short — I was put on the Atkins diet before I even know what a diet was, so I began to sneak food and binge in secret at a very young age, was later put in LA Weight Loss by my aunt in middle school, developed seriously disordered eating patterns, and was continuously reminded that I wasn’t good enough the way I was while I was growing up.

I’ve accepted that my family meant no harm and have always had my best interest in mind, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m still affected by their actions to this day. I’m aware that I need to let it go, but in the back of my mind I’m still 100% convinced that I’m not good enough. And that I never will be.

This passage really smacked me across the face. I need to let go of the past, because I can’t change it. I tell the residents I work with that every day. I need to start taking my own advice, because if other people deserve self love and appreciation, then so do I.

I need to do this for my overall well being, because I can’t heal my Crohn’s while I’m still binge eating. SCD requires strict adherence, which I haven’t been able to commit to thus far.

I graduated in May with a degree in psychology, I work in a mental health facility, and I believe in recovery with my whole being. I need to wo-man up and make a therapy appointment. I’ve tried fixing myself a million times and it doesn’t work that way. At least, not for me.

I deserve it, right?

Originally posted on nutrition intuition:

This past weekend I attended a great workshop at the Yoga Center of Minneapolis on twisting for spinal and digestive therapy. It was a fantastic two hours that, to quote the instructor, “squeezed and soaked” my innards and left me feeling grounded and happy.

Whether you practice yoga or not, twists are simple movements that you can make to help ease digestive discomfort. And the benefits go beyond the digestive tract, too. On the musculoskeletal level, twists can improve posture (It’s true—I measured a whole 1/2 inch taller at the doctor this year. My inner fourteen-year-old is thrilled.) and spinal flexibility. On a visceral level, old blood is squeezed out of organs and fresh blood is encouraged to flow in, which is hugely important for repairing tissue. And on an emotional level, twisting brings your awareness to your center, encouraging stability and healing in your body’s core.

Our final…

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Originally posted on A Guy With Crohn's:

Almost everyone with a chronic illness has probably heard of the Spoon Theory.  Here it is if you have never read it before.  I belive the originator of it was Christine Miserandino so I am crediting her.  You can check out her website at www.butyoudontlooksick.com

Spoon Theory

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

Cartoon image of Christine Miserandino holding a spoon
As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead…

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Hometown flushtrations.

My family has always been preoccupied with my weight, but that could be written about in a blog entirely to itself. I just want to talk about recent flushtrations I’ve experienced while on a visit to my hometown to spend some time with family.

My mom and aunt have both asked me about whether or not I’ve lost weight with this new diet. I replied by saying that I didn’t know, because I wasn’t weighing myself. I told them that I wasn’t following a weight loss diet, and wasn’t worried about whether this diet would make me lose weight or not. It’s about my health. Not my weight.

I know there is a problem with the word “diet,” in general, but it offends and hurts me that my family automatically goes back to my weight when talking about my health.

My weight has never affected my health in my 22 years.

My Crohn’s disease has continuously affected my health, in a very detrimental way, for over four years.

Am I alone in this? How can I make them realize the importance of healing my body without making it about my weight in any way?

Originally posted on Dr Lisa Tabrizi, ND:

Did you know that our guts have the second largest collection of neurons in our body? Our brains come in first, and are guts are second. Meaning, there are in fact more neurons in our guts than our spinal cord! Scientists coined the term the “second brain” for this collection of nerve endings which gives some truth to that sensation of having “butterflies in the stomach” when we are nervous.

When we are stressed, anxious, or worried, we activate our “fight or flight” response in our sympathetic nervous systems. When we were cave men, this process helped us escape from predators and was intended to be short-lived. The “fight or flight” response shuts down blood flow to our guts to divert more blood flow to our hearts, lungs, and muscles to help us escape a hungry tiger or bear. Now, in modern society, we rarely have an actual predator to…

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SCD chicken soup!

I was skeptical of this soup, but the longer it cooked the better it smelled!

image

I can’t wait to try it tomorrow.

Today went really well! 2 scrambled eggs for breakfast, broiled beef patties for lunch and dinner. I have also enjoyed some delicious apple cider for dessert.

I still haven’t found a yogurt maker or any dry curd cottage cheese, but I’m excited to vary the food a little bit tomorrow. :)